For many of us, a lack of confidence in ourselves creates a huge barrier to achieving our potential and living our best life. I wish I was about to offer you some magic here, but this is a work in progress. I have been working on a few things, which so far have been helping me feel more confident.
Give yourself a break.
When my confidence is at it’s lowest, my ‘critical mind’ sets in. I will constantly berate myself for getting something I’ve got wrong. You guessed it. The more the self-criticism sets in, the lower your confidence gets. That little bit of positive mental attitude and belief in yourself will go a long way if you let it.
Know your self-worth.
Confidence is not just about what we are projecting out to the world. It’s about how we feel about ourselves. Creating positive routines and practising self-care will go along way to helping you feel good about yourself.
Make a list of things that scare you.
What are your fears? Is it rejection? Failure? Is it actually because you can’t believe you got that job?
Is it actually, you have a touch of imposter syndrome. You know that feeling? Any minute someone is going to tap you on the arm and say what are you doing here? You are there because you worked so hard, you put in the hours, and this is yours. You got it!
Surround yourself with positive people.
Have a look around you. Who do you mix with? If these people don’t make you feel good, then are they the right people to be around? Obviously, everyone has their ‘off days’, or be going through something you don’t realise. BUT if you always surround yourself with people who you know really don’t deserve your time and energy. Is it time to move away?
“When you start seeing your worth, you’ll find it harder to stay around people who don’t” – Unknown.
What’s that old saying? Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. Just imagine in a job interview, if you’ve prepared, no matter how nervous you are, hopefully, once the conversation starts to flow, you’ll start to recall what you have researched. I often take notes in with me. I don’t think I’ve ever had to refer to them, but it gives me that extra security blanket.
Find what works for you.
Gaining confidence is about finding what works for you. My mum used to tell me to imagine people naked. I’m an over-thinker, so that didn’t work for me. I could “see” all sorts of things that I really didn’t want to see. I found that by feeling more in control, I feel more confident. As I find my confidence takes a knock when other things go wrong. I suffer from IBS, and I find when that’s not under control, I get really stressed just in case. This then has a knock-on effect on my anxiety.
Take baby steps and break tasks down.
By taking small steps and breaking down tasks, we can make something daunting more manageable. I broke it down. I wanted to go to yoga, but I didn’t want to go alone. Dan came with me until I felt comfortable and then I went alone. A few times recently I’ve reached out and I have not been rejected, which encourages me to continue to reach out.
Celebrate your success and your journey. No matter how small or insignificant you want to dismiss it as being, STOP and celebrate it.
What are your top tips for building confidence?
Lots of love,