I’m about to turn forty. Bah I’ve said it.
I’d love to tell you I’m feeling positive about turning forty. Part of me just wants to run and hide behind the great big inflatable 4 0 balloons. Am I going to wake up on Saturday morning, everything all kind of shrivelling up? Will I be deep in the throws of a full blow mid-life crisis with an overwhelming compulsion to buy a red Ferrari that I can’t afford from eBay?
They say ‘life begins at forty’. I guess in that sense it’s like another ‘New Years Eve’. A time for reinvention, a new chapter, a fresh start. I can’t think of anymore cliches! This is a time many of us think of changing career. Although, I’ve had more career changes than your average careers advisor could tell you about, so maybe not a career change (for now anyway).
What do you want to be when you grow up?
In all honesty. I never had a clue. It’s always been about studying for me. What can I do next? Never really being satisfied in the here and now. Eat, sleep, (with the occasional rave) repeat. Maybe now, moving forwards, it’s a time for acceptance of myself and learning to look around and appreciate all that I have.
Maybe this is a time to travel more, not just holidays, but explore different cultures and cuisines. I want to learn Spanish again AND more importantly have the confidence to use it. I also want to get back into yoga (I was too scared to go to a class alone when I moved to London). Generally, I just want to push myself to do things I always wished I could, but was too scared.
In fact, does age really matter at all?
It is all a bit relative when you think about it. I mean if you could write a letter to your younger self. What would you say? I know I would tell myself to stop caring so much about what others thought of me, or rather what people who don’t matter thought about me.
“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us. At age 40, we don’t care what they think of us. At age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.” Ann Landers
In my head, I’m still 18 and the world is my oyster. Maybe the reality is that I’m 40, and do you know what, the world is still my oyster! Even if I still don’t have a clue what I want to be when I grow up.
Happy Birthday to all of my fellow August babies. I hope you have a fantastic day! However old you are, who you are, or who you want to be!
Lots of love Helen xoxo