In the days of social media and perfect images, it is easy to doubt your self-worth. Just a quick scroll and you see images of “perfect” looking people or the “perfect” life. Images that can perhaps leave you feeling a lack of self-worth and that you and your life aren’t quite good enough.
Personally, it got the point that I would rarely ever post a photo of myself on Instagram. I just in all honestly felt like I didn’t look good enough. Yet, if I don’t feel I’m good enough, who else will.
I am sharing what self-worth means to me, my process of learning and understanding what my self-worth is, and my tips to start living a life feeling self-worth.
What is self-worth?
Personally, I think that self-worth and self-confidence as different things. Confidence is more about external aspects, such as how other people perceive us. Whereas, self-worth is something more internal and is focused on our own perception of our self.
With regards to confidence, I think of the expression, “fake it till you make it”. By imitating confidence, a person can be perceived as confident and therefore making them feel more confident. Whereas, self-worth is focused on our own perception of our self, and more difficult to “fake”. If you feel that you are unworthy, there is only so much you can kid yourself that you are happy.
So, how can we grow our self-worth? How can we really start valuing ourselves?
I’ve come up with five ways that have helped me:
1. Accept the past
I know I can pinpoint some of my feelings of lack of self-worth to things that happened in my childhood. I ended up going to counselling as I could see that it was impacting on my adult life by the choices I was making. It’s still a work in progress, but I accept I can’t change things in the past, but I can change my view of myself and my own self-worth now.
2. Remove toxic people
If you feel like the people around you make you feel insecure or not so good about yourself, then it’s time to say goodbye. It is not easy, toxic people generally will have such power over you, and they shouldn’t. Once you remove these people from your life, it will free you from the negativity they bring into your life, but it will also create space for more positive people to come into your life.
3. Set your personal boundaries
This is something I struggle with. In all areas of life, people will take the “p” if you let them, impacting on your feeling of self-worth. You could go as far as writing out what you will or will not accept from others, or just go with your feelings. I go with what makes me feel good and what makes me feel bad. As with the toxic people, if people or situations make me feel insecure or not good about myself, I will distance myself from them.
4. Be your own best friend
I read a quote years ago about you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you. I remember at the time thinking, yes whatever. Yet it’s true. Once I realised I was my own worst enemy; I was the one who constantly doubted myself. Turn that around, be your own best friend. Be the one who says you can do it. You are worthy of good things. Help yourself by practicing regular a self-care routine to make yourself feel good and keep anxiety at bay .
5. Surround yourself with people you love
If you value yourself, you will attract people that are worth your while. Surround yourself with people you love, and you will feel valuable too.
I am now in a loving relationship, have amazing friends, and the toxic people are in the past. And guess what? I feel happy, valued and loved 🙂
What are 5 things you value about yourself?